Monday, December 29, 2008

Couch Potato-ing the Day Away

I'm a lazy ass in a food coma on day # ...uuh  ...since the day after Christmas. (The Count can kiss it)

My goal of exercising on said food comatic days has been a big fat: FAIL. (pun intended. I'm clever.) I keep hoping that the thoughts will start counting (It's the thought that counts! anybody?) but, evidently (exhibit A being my ass) and much to my dismay food comas cannot be out thunk. Le sigh.

That's the goal for today: exercise. (Wish me luck. I need a double.)

Not to say that I've done nothing since Christmas. (wait-does drinking count?) Okay, I've done nothing.

Today, I did sign up for a Conversational Italian class! (Like how my subjects just flow together so seamlessly? No? I'll work on it.) (Maybe a writing class will make it's way onto the 2010 Resolutions list) I went to Italy last October and I've been dying to go back and, of course, learn the language. Step One: Learn Italian. I start January 23rd. 

Check me out, all getting things done...(baby steps)

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Death by Cold.

Who sobs because they're cold?

Answer: Me. This morning.

True Story. My shower this morning could not get hot enough to warm my skin and relieve my aching bones and shivering muscles. Is it possible to get frostbite from the inside out. Bones first, then muscle, the organs and lastly, the skin? I'm pretty sure my bones are frostbitten. Possibly frostgobbled. When the frostgobble started chomping at my lungs all hell broke loose in the form of sobs.

Seriously. Who the eff sobs because they are cold?! (Don't answer this.)

Judging by my dramatic shower scene this morning, the cold is my kryptonite. And we're not talking like below zero, snow weather. No. We are talking 65 degrees Farenheit. That's all it takes. My mom seems to think that this is a comfortable temperature to keep the house at. Wrong. Dead wrong.

I thought she was trying to kill me this morning. In fact, she almost did kill me this morning. I just wonder what would inspire her to want to torture me so badly. I put the dishes away as she asked. We even bonded over a game of Tap, Tap Revenge.

Is she being a sore loser? I Tap, Tap too well and she's after Revenge? Once she asked me what's wrong and I screamed in agony between sobs that, "It's FUCKING COOOLD!!!" she realized her Revenge had risen to an unholy level and turned on the heat. She even warmed up my car for me.

This was very nice of her. She is forgiven. It was just a game. She knows this now. I just wish my body was not still feeling her Tap, Tap Revenge.

What the hell did I do at work that was so awful that here too I'm being tortured with my kryptonite? I don't recall Tap, Tapping the Tap out of them. My floor heater is keeping me alive for now but it is losing the battle. I'm gonna need something stronger and more powerful.

Fire! I need fire!

This may be against some type of building code though. (We couldn't even get a toaster oven in the kitchen. A fire pit? Turning my cubey into an oven? I'm thinking this may not fly.)

Best case scenario: I get workers comp.

I will draw up my will in the event of Worst Case Scenario. (Just in case. They're ruthless.)

Be careful out there all you Tap, Tap Revenge Champs. The non-champs do not take non-champing lightly.

Friday, December 19, 2008

I know Politics.

I was totally gonna kick Obama’s @$$ and be the Prez because I didn’t want the White House to be painted black. (it’s true. I got the Forward.)

Painting the White House black would be a bad idea because then the Post Office would get all confused and the President wouldn't get his magazine subscriptions and then how will they know latest celebrity gossip? Exactly. Bad idea. You can't run the Country if you don't know what crazy antics Britney's up to. Or how much Nichole Richie wieghs. (Seriously, how is Nichole making it in magazines?)

But then I saw that I (as president) would have to dodge flying shoes and after playing Wii Fit Soccer where you have to do headers at the soccer balls (mind out tha gutter pleze. Thanx.) and dodge the Nike cleats and Panda Bear heads (Panda bear heads? Nikes? This may or may not be the objects you are required to dodge but this is exactly how I recall the event. Tequila may or may not have been involved.)

I failed at the headers.

I failed at dodging the shoes and Panda bear heads.

(My hula hooping, on the other hand, was GOLDEN.)

Granted, I was wearing heels, had a beer in my hand and my BAC% was: Tequila.

And as Prez when wouldn't I have a drink in my hand, be wearing heels and on a Pedastal?

The answers is: When I'm Sleeping.

On second thought.

The answer is NEVER.

(I'm the Prez. I do what I want. A portion of US taxes go to my Bar Bill and Shoes.)

But then I was kick @$$ in dodgeball as a youngster (!) but then I didn't wear heels had no relationship with Tequila. I'm thinking I'll just leave the Shoe Dodging to, well, pretty much anybody that is not me. Not me is key.

I’m not taking any chances. Foreign feet might smell real bad. I mean look at these Shoe Throwing Foreigners their hair all skraggaly-like. Hygiene does not appear to be high on their list of priorities. And niether is keeping up with the latest styles of shoes.

Or at least this is the picture I have in my head because I was getting ready for work (read: Basically sleeping and mostly on AutoPilot) and when I looked at the TV all I saw was Bush dodge to the left (or right? I was looking in the mirror-2/3rds asleep. I have no idea which way he dodged.) And I pictured the Shoe Throwers in the form of Osama Bin Laden.

Get me paintbrush, the White House is getting a Make-OVA! Obama, don't be nervous, you'll do great! I'll think about getting you Wii Fit for Christmas to help you practice. (It's the thought that counts right? Right.)

Monday, December 15, 2008

Can I get some Cheese with my Whine?

So, it's raining bedknobs & broomsticks out. (SoCal. Our standards differ.) (Clearly.) This should have been my first clue that today was going to be One Of Those Days. I didn't catch on. I went to work anyway. Big Mistake.

Trader Joe's takes checks. Just in case you didn't know.

I had to ask since I seemed to have left my card case (with all my credit/debit cards) in my jeans from the other night. I realized this when I was looking for my drivers license and Insurance information to trade with the lady that rear-ended me! With all the bedknobs & broomsticks flailing about it's difficult to see how much damage the fender bender really caused, so far I've accounted for one scratch.

A Scratch!

(I'm tearing up over here...)

With nearly half my lunchtime gone and my stomach growling (it's a beast, lemme tell ya!) all I had was my check book (and an extra ID I keep in my car at all times. For rainy days. Like today.)

My love for credit cards was taken to another level today when I realized how convenient they are. Just swipe and sign. (I have stars in my eyes. It's love. I just know it.)

Checkbooks on the other hand...

With checkbooks you have to know things. Unimportant things like the date(!) and what store you are in (brain overload) AND THEN! You have to actually write out the amount you are spending. Twice. TWICE!! It's too much. And I got a paper cut.

Really though. What'd I do?! Is this Karma? I didn't completely cross the line with the guy that's practically married. Flirting is harmless right! And he started it! And, and...uh....alcohol isn't an excuse is it? Damn. I digress.

Lesson Learned: Never. Never. Leave home without a credit card. NEVER!

The universe was looking out though. When I got to work this morning: cookies and chocolatey brownie thingy's found their way to me. (No Way could I have survived lunch had I not been in a sugar coma)

But that's not all...

My mom turned on the HEATER!!! Hallelujah!! I did not need frostbite to top this day off.

Friday, December 12, 2008


Have you ever tried to open a regular door with your Car's Keyless entry instead of a key?


Heh.Heh. Me neither.

Just checking.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Wait-Is this BAD news? You're sure?

The company is cutting back. In a meeting yesterday we were informed that wages will be cut and yada-yada there will be cutbacks (just short of bringing your own TP to work).

WAIT! Hold the phones! WAGE CUTBACKS?! GTFO. The room is closing in on me.

Lucy! You got som splaining to do!!!

The company will be closing down for the holidays (From noon on Christmas Eve to the 5th of January) we will only be getting paid for the 2 holidays and can use our PTO time if we choose to do so.

Bad news? Sure my paycheck will not see 44 hours of pay. But it's all sunshine, sleeping in and silverlining from my starry eyed perspective. VACATION!!!! Yes. Pleze. Totally worth it.

He continues...workshare program. This is where our work week is cut to 32 hours a week. That's one day off everyweek. 3. DAY. WEEKEND!!! Woot! Woot!! Hello Peepole, this should have been done long ago! Really though. 5 days of work and 2 measley days off. Who's the stupid who came up with that Bad Idea? In yo face sucka! 4 days now. 3 days to play!

But that's not all. On that one day of the week that we are off. We get to collect unemployment. Sure, 8 hours of unemployment is less than 8 hours of work. But TOTALLY worth it! Did I mention that we'll be getting 3 days off a week? Just checking.

So after that terrible news I was smiling and skipping back to my desk from the meeting while the rest of my coworkers carried confused faces. I'm the math genius of the bunch. Clearly.

3 days off 32 and then a little hours of pay > 40 hours of cubey time.

No contest.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Robin Hood? You out there? Come hither!!!

Be careful folks there are crooks amongst us. While reviewing my credit card statement (online-save a tree! Or a 1/100,000th of one tree...either way) I stumbled across 2 AT&T long distance phone calls that tallied to the amount of about 99 songs from iTunes. WTF?! This is highway robbery, if I ever saw highway robbery! I checked out previous statements for the same blasphemy and lo and behold 117 more potential iTunes songs. Those thieving Sons of Beaches. A grand total of $216.

This does not make me happy.

I called AmEx and called FRAUD ALERT on those Muthas so now I had to cut my credit card up *tear* and was issued a new one (whew!!). Luckily, they are going to overnight it.

I don't know how AmEx works as far as the Fraud thing goes but hopefully I'm not at a total loss of my $216.

I'm now signed up for Fraud Prevention (or something) for $29 a year.

A crook, crook here. A thieve, thieve there.

Here a crook.

There a thief.

And here I am a-broke! BROKE!

(Okay, I'm not broke but still....all the time on HOLD that I've spent....where's my samurai sword?! I have vermon to kill!)

Sunday, December 7, 2008

I'm Making A List...

Facts and truths.

(as I know them.)

  • When you don't want to eat your vegetables hiding them in your pocket is a bad idea if they are not dry. (true story)
  • Chopsticks are awesome.
  • I think I'm addicted to Pumpkin Pie. Seriously. Breakfast: Pumpkin Pie. Lunch: Pumpkin Pie. Dinner: Veggies because I'm full from snacking on Pumpkin Pie.
  • I like lists.
  • 4 years of working in an office is killing my ability to sleep in. (It's Sunday and it's 9:30am right now. There is something terribly wrong about that.)
  • Christmas lights are the best thing. But they should do they're little blinkity blinks coordinated-like. When one side of your house is blinking crazy, speed freak fast and the other side is all lazy eye. That's not cool. If you do this: You're Fired.
  • Being witness to somebody's first taste of Wasabi is golden. Really though, why do they give out such a huge lump? It's so deceiving. And it looks like balled up Avocado. And they use Avocado in the rolls a lot. I think those Sushi Guys like to see people make a Wasabi mishap. Tricky fellas. Japanese are cool.
  • I want to be a Samurai Warrior. (I watched Kill Bill. Kill Bill inspires me.)
  • Cheating is still passing. (the lights on my 3-foot high fiber optic tree are coordinated)

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Santa Baby, Hurry down the Chimney Tonight!

Anybody who works in an office knows that kitchen cleanliness is always an issue.

There is always somebody who leaves their food in the fridge turning it into a science project, dirty coffee mugs left unwashed in the sink, coffee, creamer, crumbs & stuff on the counters. Explosions happening in the microwave leaving food all over the office is no exception.

My soup exploded in the microwave today; on all 6 surfaces.

When other office employees see a mess they get all irritated and say something like, "Is this the way they are at home? Just leaving thier mess for somebody else to clean up after!"

Why, yes. Yes, it is.

As I was wiping it up the thought struck me that if I were at home I would not be doing this. (Yeah, that's right. Would NOT be cleaning it up) We have a housekeeper that comes, so on the rare occasion that something should explode or overflow in the microwave, I leave it. I'm a brat like that but she gets paid so everybody's happy (as far as I'm concerned).

Irma, I thank you for cleaning up all my microwave mishaps and making my house all sparkly and clean. I had to do it myself today. I did not enjoy. You're a champ. You deserve a raise (see: Mom).

Hopefully, Obama (and his team of highly paid professionals) can turn this economy so I can get a (BIG FAT) raise, a bonus, an office Christmas Party and an Irma at work.


I've been pretty good this year. There's the list. Do your thing.

P.S. Please refrain from keeping "big fat" on my body.

P.P.S. Or if you just wanna get me a winning Lottery ticket, that would do too.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Vacation. Vacation. How I love thee so much!

My 6 days off were awesome.

Our flight was at 6:30am on Wednesday so Tuesday night I (grudgingly) had to pack.


Hate. Packing.

I tried to make the best of it so I put Michael on blast and dance partied it up! My mom and I were dancing it up and boogie-ing down! We had a blast! The packing, however…the packing did not get completely done. I was scrambling in the morning throwing ev-er-ey-thang in my suitcase that I could think of. (I did okay.)

Ontario Airport – dead.

An hour and a half layover at Houston Airport – dead.

Waiting in the Fort Meyers (FL) airport Chili’s for an hour – dead.

Biggest travel day of the year?

I’m thinking: no.

The media was mistaken.

Yesterday it was pretty busy though.

We had a Southern Thanksgiving at my mom’s boyfriends friends [vacation] home a few streets over.


Southern accents. Souther food, complete with Greens, Fried Turkey (that’s right. That whole mutha effer was fried) and some homemade PeeCAN Pii. They were really nice “folks”. It was totally different from the usual T-day but it was way cool. And everything I tried (anything sans meat--I heard the Fried Turkey was mighty tastey though and I didn't try the pie--too full) was really good. (Fattening though. My ass did not appreciate this.)

We fished like everyday. I caught a Referee fish (read: Sheepshead but wtf, man! It was striped (last I checked sheep were fluffy not stripey, those fish namers are way animal planet challenged...and apparently there’s already a zebra fish so I called it a Referee fish) and a blowfish and a Blue Crab. Almost. The crab let go as soon as we (read: not me) was about to grab it. I saw it though, it was so freaking awesome and cool looking. I was stoked.

Fishing is fun. (And it goes hand in hand with drinking. Need I say more!) We fished in the harbor and it was totally Animal Planet live! We saw all kinds of fish (that we caught-they’re kinda shy), bunches of sting rays, different types of birds galore! It was beautiful and the weather was great. The last day it did rain and storm but it was cool since we don't get that much here in SoCal. And we saw a double rainbow. You can't beat that.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Flying Through Airports

Who said today was the busiest travel day of the year? LIES. ALL LIES!


Sent from my [naked] iPhone

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Vacation Rocks! But then there is packing. Ugh.

My flight for Florida leaves at 3:30 in the A. M. (AM!!!)

I haven't packed a thing, I'm supposed to be doing this now.

I'm a procrastinator. Watcha gon' do.

I know what my mom is gonna do. She's gonna nag me into packing and I will grumble. And I will gripe. I will yell, "I hate packing!!" about 18 gadgillion and 9 times (this is an accurate number) whilst I stomp through the house (because this makes packing easier.) (I'm a good coper). And I will grudgingly begin throwing random stuff in my suitcase about 2-3 hours before we are suppose to leave (so that I can get 1-2 hours of my 9 hours of required beauty sleep) and hope for the best.

This is a vacation ritual. (it sounds better this way ha?)

Packing has to be--no. Packing IS. BY FAR. the WORST. part about vacation (next to leaving vacationland and having to unpack and go to work. Talk about a kill-joy.) and it's pretty hard for the spirit to drop when you know vacation is just around the bend.

  • 6 consecutive days of non-work. (YEA BABY!!)
  • Friends and coworking hard-core hating because you get 6 days of non-work. (Bring on the hate! Give. It. To. Me! I'm loving it!)
  • Busiest travel day of the year. Long lines. 5 hours of sitting with minimal elbow space. (Got the iPod on standby, I'm ready for ya! Vacation. Vacation! VACATION! Woot! Woot!)
  • Packing.



I need inspiration. Vacation just isn't standing up to the dreaded packing.

This calls for Michael. P.Y.T, Thriller, Billie Jean...Oooo Weeee!

I'm off to stomp now. Let the stomping commence....


Monday, November 24, 2008

This is me in the eyes of a 6 year old

I am pink. I wear a dress even when I don't. I wear my hands on my biceps (yes, these are my hands and not my biceps-I checked). I wear ucomfortable footwear. My mascara tends to clump on the left side. I am tall (I can tell because I am looking down). Vertical stripes are slimming.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Friday, November 21, 2008

Closet Blogging

Everyday I go to work. I have an [un]exciting job. My daily highlights are e-mailing KOAM (self proclaimed King of all Mexicans--he nicknamed himself) & Dodger Drinks-a-ton and reading blogs. They're not men of many words. They e-mail me like a sentence or so and I reply back with a full (colorful) paragraph of purely random ridiculousness (complete with my own crazy-creation background). This (and Tapatio) is what spices up my day. I'm exciting.

KOAM started a blog in which he will blog his journey "from fat to fit" and going for his dream of fighting in the MMA. I'm the encourager. He asked me to write his About Me section and he also wants me to post 2-3 blogs a month on his blog. Done and done. I'm honored.

I ask him his progress on the blogging all the time. I recommend blogs to him. We talk blog. I encourage. Except now he has this crazy idea that I should start a blog.

No, crazy boy.

I'm a closet blogger. I'm keeping it that way!

Granted, should he stumble upon my blog, it's not so anonymous. But I still refuse to TELL him about it. I'm embarrassed or something. I don't really have good reason. He has this crazy idea that "it would be so interesting to read through your everyday life". He's trying to have me believe that I'm a good writer and I'm interesting. Sadly, Notsomuch. But he's a good friend.

That's what good friends do, they encourage (and lie to you to pump you up).

I didn't even start this blog with the intention of it being public. I started it because I just like to write and this way if I have internet access then I've got a place to lay down some thoughts (or rants & raves) so all I need is my trusty iPhone and I don't have to carry around a journal and pen. The public thing happened by accident. I set the availability to private and somehow it publicized itself. Leading me to believe that there is a ghost in my computer. Or maybe it's an omen or (dare I say it) a user error? (NO!) I'm going ghost. A cute one, like Casper.

I don't like lying but I really am very self conscious about my bloggy (I like using the word blog. Bloggy. Bloggish. Bloggity.) ways. So until he stumbles upon this piece of work and calls me out. I'm a closet blogger.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

(I just like saying that)

Thursday, November 20, 2008

When Inspiration Hits...Just Go With It.

So I'm sitting here working (work shmirk. reading blogs and texting), listening to my iPhone on iPod mode and then I hear this:

They told 'em don't you ever come around. hee-Ya!

Don't wanna see yo face you betta disapee-Ya!

That's right folks! Michael. Jackson. I immediately jump out of my chair onto my desk kick my leg out and grab my crotch, did some pelvic thrusts and starting singing at the of my lungs!

Doing the moonwalk atop the cubicle walls, snapping my fingers!

Like a champ!

Who's a Champ?

I'm a champ.

Everywhere A-Champ.Champ.

Okay, I didn't. But I wanted to.

(for the record: I'm still a Champ.) (What? Denial?! Where???)

It was like this surge of energy rushing through my body with the beat of BEAT IT!

Am I the only one who feels this when I hear some old school Michael? I'm thinking no. (lie to me-my blog, my rules).

Kreativ Blogger Award

I've been tagged!

(By Jannelle at Through the Looking Glass)

So I will now list 6 things I am thankful for and then tag 6 more blogs to do the same. That's the name of the game (okay, the rules but name rhymes...)

6 Thankfuls in my Life....

  1. My mom (cue: awwww...) Yup. This woman is AMAZING! (She did raise me afterall...) She taught me strength, independence, the importance of good credit (it's under-rated. Really mamas of the world, this needs to be learned), hard work and to always try and do what's right and follow your heart (**while not ignoring your brain** this is key. I would probably be lost in Italy or some foreign country, without a dime to my name or a clue on how I'm gonna get home if it hadn't been for that mass of grey matter occupying my skull). I could go on but I think you get it. She's amazing. period.
  2. My family, of course, sometimes (read: most the time) they drive me crazy but (i lie to myself) and think this builds "character". They're loving, good cooks and are wildly fun and entertaining. Love 'em to pieces.
  3. My friends (another, "duh"; but it must be listed). I don't have many but the ones that I do have: WOW! How did I get so blessed to be around such AWE-MAZE-ING people? Just lucky I guess.
  4. My iPhone (it's true.) You bring me music (music, how I love thee...), the Internet (I'm looking at you google. *smooches*), crazy apps, Maps (seriously, I get lost ALL THE TIME), all the entertainment and answers to random questions that you give me.... I heart my iPhone (and all things apple. Including apples they're yummy).
  5. All things warm (and functioning). Scarves, Hats, Coats, Gloves, Tea, Soup, Summer, the heater under my desk, Southern California (cuz, let's face it. It could be worse...Antarctica? No thanks.)all heaters anywhere and everywhere, fire If you keep me from chattering teeth and frostbite: I love you.
  6. Alcohol. (Yeah, I said it.)


All these blogs (there's more but I'm limited to listing 6) are witty, sarcastic, clever, funny and all that other ooey gooey entertaining goodness. I'm hooked.

  1. Baking with Plath
  2. Clever Girl Goes Blog
  3. Starting Over at 24
  4. I Hate So Much
  5. Searching for the Yeti
  6. Lip Smacking Wit

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Thermostat Set at FrostBite

Jeez, it's just one of those days. You know, when you hit snooze 13 hundred and 3 times and try and cut out as many things out of your morning routine as possible (while still being just burley presentable...) just for 60 seconds more or so of sleep. So that was me this morning.

My eyes are still trying to adjust to...well, being open. All signs point right back to cuddling up in bed. What? They don't? I'M NOT LISTENING! I'M NOT LISTENING! LALALA, LA, LA, LA.... You get my drift? How the heck do people pull themselves out of this little funk of a (sun is shining) gloom of a day? Whatev. It's almost 5 o'clock. Or 10am...but sometimes lying to myself just seems the better option. Is it too late to play hookey from work? Yes? Okay, fine but I won't sit here with a smile on my face! And I WILL just sit here! I'm a rebel. I'm living on the edge. Or not. But, hell whatever passes the time...

It doesn't help that it is freezing balls in the office! I don't even have any balls and they are frozen, frostbitten and hatin' it-that's saying something. I don't know what. But something. For sure. They are trying to frostbite my hoodie 'n chucks wearing ass (told ya, I'm a rebel--business casual Wha!) right out of the office and back to bed (yet another sign pointing back to bed). I'm convinced. I even have a heater under my desk. I made myself some hot tea. And I'm still cold. Brrrrrr....

I just finished "Triumph over the frostbite" attempt numero tres (that'd be "number 3" for the "green-goes"). Attempt number 1: Floor heater (it's still on...hey, I don't pay the electic bill...they obviously don't mind if they have the A/C on the "Frostbite" [read: 73 degrees] when there is clearly NO NEED! 78 is just fine. Thankya.). Attempt #2: Hot tea. (to no avail) and finally Attempt Numero Tres: Soup. It's Fabulousity. The little Progresso (light(! Of course) never will the attempt be: weight gain for more insulation) anyway, those Progesso cup thingy's that are microwavable are freaking awesome! The (office provided) bowls are not big enough for the whole can and I hate doing dishes so the ones in the cupboard are clearly, not an option. So the little microwavable thingy is PERFECTO MUNDO! And Attempt Numero Tres coupled with Attempt number 1 is totally working! Warmth. Golden.

What I don't get though is that the Nutrition info says that one serving is 60 calories and "about 2 servings" and THEN it says that the entire package is about 100 calories...math geniuses (such as myself) they ARE NOT. And we trust these people to count our calories?! Oh well. It was good and it worked. And I put Tapatio in it, so it's EVEN BETTER! Love the spicy. Tapatio and Soy Sauce are my ketchup and mustard. They rock. Salty Spicey goodness. Mmmmm...I'm warm now. Inside out.

Take that A/C! HAH! I win.

S.= 2 (cuz I'm warm and it's on thier dime)
The Frostbiters = 0.25 (cuz I hate being cold)
That's right! I'm beating the system one frostbitten finger at a time....

Monday, November 17, 2008

Weekend Rundown (in no particular order)

Breakfast of champions: Doritos and a waffle with peanut butter. This is what happens when 2 momma's girls are left to fend for themselves... clearly, we took it like champs.

My iPhone case took it in the keester! <-- it just came out, I dunno. But yeah, I dropped my phone and my dark red, rhinestone adorned case is no more. *tear*

Who has a pretty little chandelier and matching lamp in their room?! It's me! It's me! FABULOUS!!!

Dude, America = the country that survives on all that is plastic, no? As in plastic cards. Swipe it, sign and VOILA(!) you just got got something new that you may or may not afford! I go to the swapmeet and swipe, I'm pretty sure the paleta man (Mexican dude with cart full of ice cream) take Visa or Mastercard. They giggled and called me cute in a dive bar in Visalia, CA (read: podunk town)for trying to pay for drinks with a card (cash is a thing of the past to me, like horse carriages and the idea that world is flat). The expression on my face once denied may or may not have contributed their amusement at the LA Girl (even though I live an hour away from there...inland, no less). RIDICULOUS.

Wii Fit is a freaking BLAST!! (Martini's, Patron shots and beers may or definately may have been involved. Don't judge. My Wii Hula Hooping is golden.)

My throat cannot handle 3 and a half hours of singing (off-key. That's how I do.) but, by golly I will still try! Twice. I just can't drive otherwise. Can't.

Sleeping in the bed of a married couple (whilst they sleep in the living room), I just couldn't bring myself to do it, it just seems...wierd. Just me? My cousin calls me crazy, I disagree. I just can't seem to think of an instance where I'd be comfortable with sleeping arrangements such as this. We ended up falling asleep watching a movie- slumber party styley.

It is November thus it is Fall. FALL! Yo, Sun! This is not your time to shine. Chillax sucka! I'd like to wear cute coats and scarves and hats and look forward for your return in the Spring! Kay?thanx.buh-bye.

I parallel park like a champ! (when drinking)


Sent from my [naked] iPhone

P.S. To podunk town or not to podunk town--never the question. It's all about the company you keep!

Friday, November 14, 2008

Cutting down my lunch hour....

WTF! Trains should be banned from the tracks during the 12 o'clock hour! Hello conductors! Some of us only have an hour for lunch! 90 gazillion carts at like 5 mph UNCALLED FOR!! BANNED!! Baaaanned!!

Last cart. /end rant.



Sent from my iPhone

Saweet jeezus my hair is SHORT!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Hockey & Hair.

Went to the best hockey game (I've ever been to) last night! Fighting (complete with blood on the ice!), OT and then they went into a shootout! It's what hockey is all about! I'm not really into hockey but it was (almost) free and something about the word FREE makes things sooo much better! And am I the only one that thinks the half naked girls shoveling ice are out of their minds?! I had on jeans and a thick jacket and was cold! I can't help but wonder if shots of something or other (vodka, perhaps?) is part of their pay...

So today I'm getting my hair cut and colored. Today marks the day that my hair gets deflowered! *gasp* Yes, it is true that my hair is a virgin to hair dye... And it's already shoulder length so tomorrow morning I may not recognize myself when passing the mirror (hopefully in a good way *fingers crossed*). I'm nervous. In the fun way though, if I don't like my hair will grow and I can always dye it black....or buy a wig and lots of hats...I'm nervous. I'm anxious. I want it to be 6 already so we can get the show on the road... No freakshows though...

I'm excited.

I'm nervous. (catch onto that yet?)

I'm hungry....


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Monday, November 10, 2008

Give me an Inch, I'll take a Mile...

My weekend in a nutshell:

-Senior citizens and kareoke -Gay club and dancing (the gays get down!) -Drinking (it's the only way...) -BBQ (food, drink, Guitar Hero, Loteria, Hold 'em...oh my!) -Ghettofying my phone case with stickers cuz I love it too much to throw it away. And since my first attempt at salvation (KrazyGlue) failed, it was the only other option I could think of.

(Um. KrazyGlue. Thumb. Index finger. Yeah, you guessed it...)

OMG! And today at work, I got handed...

(brace yourself)

Work! Yes, that is correct. Work. So that means today I'm actually doing what I get paid to do. Wierd, I know. My heart skipped a beat when my Super handed me plans this morning. And then I opened and looked at them and wanted to hand them right back. It passed though. I got to working and actually enjoyed it (as much as you can enjoy WORK anyway). But that was before lunch. Now after a big lunch (Vons- that's right yet another day sans TJ's) and cheesecake to celebrate my co-workers birthday, I'm considering petitioning for naptime at the office... I'm pretty sure that there was a study done on employees being more productive with naps, right? Right? Hmmm... The slavedriver-esque Super may disagree.

(4 solid hours of work and now their slavedrivers...and I'm blogging right to be done and I'm blogging.)


Who got to work 15 minutes EARLY today?!

Yours truly!

Yippey for me! Let's see if I can keep it up for the rest of the week! (BABY STEPS, mind you-a week is PLENTY.)

Back to work now...


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Saturday, November 8, 2008

Mmmm...A Delish Dish

The latest and greatest in food (new to me anyway) is butternut squash! 2 words: Yum. Meeee. Love it. Taste just like potatoes but less calories. I hear it's a pain in the daryaire (or however you spell that-symbollic of how hard the task is? Um. Sure.) to clean and peel and chop and stuff and let's face it I'm no Iron Chef plus I'm super duper lazy(!) so I bought it frozen (frozen veggies are definately the way to go). Put it in a pan and cook then add some eggbeater (and Montreal steak seasoning and cayenne pepper) and VWALA!! Tre magnifique! *italian finger kiss* You got yourself some scrambled eggs and potatoes for like way less than half the calories!

Delicious and nutritious! I should totally make my own recipe book. A Lazy-ass's Guide to Delicious and Nutritious! Well, the name needs work but that's small potatoes-the seed has been planted. I've proved my genius yet again. (just go with it, I'm a dreamer) and Hungry Girl already beat me to it. Whatev.



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Friday, November 7, 2008


I totally went a week without Trader Joe's. Do I dare go another week! We shall see... Vons showing some promise.... The downfall is they're a bit pricey...and I'm a penny pincher. And the economy non sto bene. (Italian meaning: not good. I'm pretty sure. I think.)

Crush Officially OVA!

AaaaaaaaaaaaaaND killed it! Another picture. I spoke too soon. The crush is gone. Needless to say..I'm so not attracted to this boy. Remember the ignorance is bliss? Yeah. I want it back. Sure it sounds mean but I've already sent him one picture of me (smiling because in the profile pic I'm making fish lips-dorkiness. An endearing quality, no? Then he asks for ANOTHER right now. So I say, you first.

Got it. Truth hurts. I faced the music. Me no likey.

Uhgh. I should've known better when the boy had half a brain. And wit. Hot boys. They don't have this.

Forever single. They're either hott (WTF is hoyt? My phone keeps trying to put this instead of hott. Side note: look that word up) or they have a great personality (and of course this greatness is measured by how well they mesh with me because we all know that I am the center of the universe, right? Right? RIGHT?). So whatev. I got an e-mail buddy (until he gives up).

I'm gonna go drink my single forever ass under the table now.

Well, kinda/maybe anyway.


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Friday- The Official Non-Working Work Day (or should be)

It's FRIDAY! Best work day of the week! (hur-ray for Fri-day!) so now that we've got that that little gem of a celebration out of the way, let's list all of the ways that today sucks balls. Umm. Yeah, right. How could it suck it's FRIDAY!! That's it. That's all I got. I'm making it to 5 o'clock on the fact that today is Friday. And hopefully it's not another Detour Day.
Stuck in traffic. I'm a multi-tasker, what can I say?
Dude, it seriously took me like twice as long to get home yesterday. Circles. AND in the morning taking Kaylee to school. I missed the exit. CIRCLES. Grrrrr.I'm not sure my voice can handle another day of detours or my speakers. I can only sing (offkey-cuz that's how I roll) at the top of my lungs (because, clearly, this is the ONLY way to drive) for so long. Not that it isn't liberating and totally worth it but, ya know, I like to complain. Clearly.I guess e-mailing Nick isn't so bad i really developing a crush on a boy that I met through an app on my iPhone (WTF?)that I've been e-mailing almost nonstop for the past 3 days. Oh what fun I've had talking nonesense with this stranger. A sarcastic smartass. Just. Like. Me. Who'd a thought...It's nice to e-mail somebody whose on my level of nonsense-ity. (not a word--but it should be, yes?). Miguel and Jesse can only keep it going for so long. I guess they work or something. Clearly their priorities are out of wack. I mean, really. Work. WORK. WTF?


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Thursday, November 6, 2008

Heaven help me it's lunchtime again

I've been thinking about lunch since about 9 o'clock. Seriously. I have a problem, no? Hi, my name is Sonia and I'm addicted to Trader Joe's salad. Lunchtime has been a nightmare these past 2 days. No bueno. So I'm now considering NOT boycotting TJ's anymore since, clearly, I'm the only one suffering here. And they did say they would comp my next salad...(sans bugs, I hope.)
Okay, let's face it. I would have so been there yesterday if it weren't for my lack of better judgement (I'm still pinning this on the bug) in asking to speak with the cute raggamuffin blue-eyed boy that I attempted to flirt with. The phone call was strike 2. I suck at flirting. And typically come off as flighty. It's no wonder I've been single for so long. Although, admittedly I'm really in need of... well... I need to get LAID! A girl has got needs and this girls needs ARE NOT being met. So anyway, no Trader Joe's because of my lack of game and overall coolness? At this point what have I got to lose? I really doubt that I'll be blatantly pointed out and laughed at. Maybe behind the scenes, though...

Why do I care much? That's all ego baby. My ego makes me boring. Eff it! New motto: Let's give them something to talk about!

Scratch that. Too bold and fearless. (baby steps)

How about: Just think happy thoughts. Denial isn't so bad, right? I mean, don't I always say that ignorance is bliss?

We'll see... 5 minutes to lunchtime.


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Wednesday, November 5, 2008

I'm gonna be a Tia!! SQUEEE!!!

How sweet is my Cis? She gets knocked up and then gives me and mom gifts! She got Mom this gorgeous Brighton charm bracelet, one of the charms is a baby carriage (aaawwww!) and another has 'grandma' engraved on it (double aaaawwww). And she got me a pretty little pearl bracelet with a little silver medallion on it that's engraved with 'Tia Sonia'!! It's adorable and I love it! (see previous post for pic)

I need to get her something really great but I don't know what! A book? I've been thinking about getting her a journal, she use to write a lot. I wonder now that she has no job if she would have more time for writing. I think it'd be really sweet if she documented her journey of having her first baby! Or maybe a blog would be better, more convenient. I dunno, back to the drawing board. Where did I put that thinking cap...


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My Tia-for-the-first-time gift :-D


Lunchtime again. Gripe. What's a girl to do...


Stupid beetle.


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Something's Got to Give

I think the time change effed up my alarm functions on my beloved iPhone (yes I'm aware that I'm way too caught up in my material possesions. What can I say but I'm a material girl and this is my material world). Anywho the last 3 mornings my alarmS have failed me. Or maybe it's fate telling me not to go to work anymore? Whatever Fate, I got bills. So I've been later than usual! And will not (for the umpteenth week in a row) get paid for a full 40 hours this week. 
Something gotta give. Unexceptable. At this rate my job is sure to be in jeopardy by the end of the month. No bueno, my friends. No. Bueno. Oh yeah and I do need to actually start working all day instead of reading blogs, writing blogs and socializing via technology (living in my material world and all that).

Tomorrow. Tomorrow I turn over a new leaf! What? I was already late today, today is a lost cause. A last hurrah! Okay, not really but for sure tomorrow's word of the day is PUNCTUALITY!


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Tuesday, November 4, 2008

New Slogan?

Tooting my own horn. Cuz if I don't, who will? Shall no horn go untooted! BEEP! BEEP! ;-)


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My First Stab at the Pumpkin

Okay so get this; I'm 23 and this past Halloween, my 23rd Halloween was the first ever Halloween that I carved a Pumpkin! 23! That's ludacris! (as in unbelievably shocking to go 22 Halloween sans P-carving! Not "Move, Get out the way" rapper: Ludacris)

So I mentioned it Monday to my Mom after seeing my 60-something year old uncle's carved Pumpkins. Tuesday Mom comes home with Pumky and a carving kit in tow (cue: aaawww) (overlooking that the previous 22 Halloweens there were no of oversized orange veggies let alone sharp objects to poke at them with. Overlook...check.)

I immediately flipped through the design book and settled on a design of 4 ghosts with top hats, it was some pretty advanced stuff but I'm 23 and I was determined; overwhelmed with excitement, stars in my eyes (so to speak. Kinda.) and I wanted to start off with a bang!

Once I was on to the actual carving phase eyebrows were raised when I was still deadset on the 4-ghost design. It was ambitious but I had my Pumky, my tools, my excitement and, I had my game face on.

About an hour or so into the tedious carving, the stars left my eyes and I was wishing that I had picked a less ambitious design, a simple and SINGULAR ghost design, no top hat just ghost.

I perserveered and finished what I started. My Pumky was a beaut! Magnifique!

I am now a (self-proclaimed) Pumpkin Carving Extraordinaire!! Seriously, I have totally busted out my Pumky pic to like EVERYBODY! Sharing is caring, right? And you better believe I made sure that all the 5 (literally) trick or treaters that knocked on our door admired my handywork.

So here is my Pumky in all it's glowing glory! My proof that I can, in fact, be trusted with sharp objects...


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Lunchtime Blues

Eek! It's lunchtime and I don't know where to go, they have the most scrumptious if salads at Trader Joe's...but sadly TJ's cannot be a lunchtime option any longer (see: The Bug. BUG! *shutter*). As long as my stomach turns at the thought of the Halloween salad surprise (holiday surprises are supposed to be for the better! WTF TJ's?! Didn't you get the memo?! And that's why you're FIRED! FIRED!) I'm boycotting the TJ's. Lunchtime just won't be the same. *sigh*

You will likely find me wandering aimlessly in the aisles of Staters in search of a delicious and nutritious meal that doesn't break the bank.

Be brave, I tell myself. Choose wisely.


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Weekend Rundown

So here's the weekend rundown:

• I carved my first pumpkin • Found a bug in my salad. Bug. • Called a cute stranger. • Spent Halloween night in Urgent Care. • Helped Mom make Yeast Doodles. • Saw Changelings with Mom & Tias. • Cis announced she's preggers. • Went shopping at Ross. • Called in sick to work Monday.


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