Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Who's a Champ? I'm a Champ. (yea, I said it)

Guess who just made their first Cup of Joe! 
I did. 
That's right, Coffee Success!
It only took me a 30 minutes from start to finish.
(2 minutes of that time was brewing time. 
Coffee is a Speed Demon.)

*****     *****     *****
Who knew we keep coffee in the FRIDGE. The FRIDGE?! Hello, it's in the cupboard on the Foldgers commercials
(Heh, heh, I knew it too... The Fridge, duh. First place I looked...silly Foldgers trying to pull the wool over our sleepy eyes, you didn't fool me for a second.)

And there's like all kinds of parts and stuff once you open the little lid thingy. A world of gizmos & gadgets taunt you like little Circus Monkeys

Frame. Filtration Disk. Disk Cover. Basket. Pots. Filters. (Oh my!)
All those cryptic numbers on the pot. (WTF?)

What do they mean?! I cried, shaking my fists at the ceiling sky.

The Coffee Can gives me measurements by OUNCES and TABLESPOONS. So then there's conversions....WHAT?! 
What is this Rocket Science?! 
COFFEE is all I ask of you!! 
Not travel to infinity and beyond(!) and Twitter me updates, pictures and answering the age old question of Is there life on other planets What Are You Doing Right Now? (I'm pretty sure even astronauts are using Twitter these days.) 
Coffee!! I just NEED some Coffee


And then there was my iPhone, like a Knight in Shining Armor (that practically screams, for I shall rescue thou) (or "slide to unlock") galloping in on a white horse Stallion (named Google. Very Stallion-like, yes?) coming to rescue me in my helpless Coffee-less despair from the VICIOUS FIRE-BREATHING Dragon (Let's call this evil monster Mr. Coffee, shall we?).

After my iPhone Knight In Shining Armor battled Mr. Coffee, it turned out that Mr. Coffee was not so evil or dragon-like after-all, just misunderstood, like so many of us. (I think it was ICan'tFigureThisShitOut Syndrome) (Yes, that's the techjnical medical term for it)

He was more of a toad once you got to know him. A toad that turned into the Prince of Caffe-Merica
Now understood, the Prince then dropped the "Mr." and unflattering Circus Monkey/Rocket Scientist/Dragon routine and is now totally down-to-Earth "Regular Joe" kind of guy who goes by Joe Coffee (or Cup-Of-Joe if you're into pet names)

And we spend the morning (figuratively speaking)
Happily Caffeinated After....

And THAT Ladies & Gentlemen is what I call Coffee Success!

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